The completed essay does not meet the requirements
To potentially receive full credit, you should:
- Rely on showing via sensory impressions (sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and tactile sensations) rather than telling.
- Present a portrait of the place through a specific angle of vision. That is, convey a dominant attitude toward the subject, an attitude (i.e. fascination, disgust, amusement, detachment, joy, etc.) that can be implied through details or stated explicitly.
I tried to change it up a little, i have attached
Answer preview
Each and every time I have visited Disney, I feel like a kid all over again. From the sound of the excitement; kids screaming of joy; the amazing parade; the sweet smell of fresh cotton candy and popcorn, the beautiful view of the Cinderella Castle to crackling sounds of the firework at sunset. Nothing compares the everlasting fun and adventures of Disney. The Disney Palm is 4.5 stars and my favorite place to stay while visiting Disney.
The resort is served by an extensive transport system which is serviced by Disney transport, which allows the guests to access all the areas within the resort. After arriving at the Orlando international airport; I transported to the Resort using a complimentary Disney Magical
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