Profile essay; Disney

Profile essay Disney

The completed essay does not meet the requirements

To potentially receive full credit, you should:

  1. Rely on showing via sensory impressions (sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and tactile sensations) rather than telling.
  2. Present a portrait of the place through a specific angle of vision. That is, convey a dominant attitude toward the subject, an attitude (i.e. fascination, disgust, amusement, detachment, joy, etc.) that can be implied through details or stated explicitly.

I tried to change it up a little, i have attached

Answer preview

Disney world is a theme park and resort that was founded 46 years ago by Walt and Roy Disney. It forms a basis of high entertainment in Lake Buena Vista Florida with a capacity of about 62,000 employees.  The resort was opened to supplement Disneyland in California which was founded in 1955 and developed by Walt Disney in 1960s and he died in 1966 during the construction of the complex (Barron, 2017). Disney world resort forms the Centre of entertainment in the Bay Lake and Lake Buena Vista in Florida featuring park and hotels among other intensive entertainment venues.

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